Only children : three hilarious short stories / David Baddiel ; illustrated by Jim Field and Steven Lenton.

The boy who could do what he liked -- The girl who had never been on a train -- The girl who had never been on holiday.

The boy who could do what he liked: Alfie has a routine. To be honest he has a lot of routines. But then one day Alfie’s babysitter is unavailable, and Alfie’s parents get Mrs Stokes instead. Mrs Stokes doesn’t do routines. Instead, she just tells Alfie to do what he likes. And that’s when things start to go weird. Does everything get hilariously out of control? Yes. Does Alfie learn a valuable lesson? Nah. This isn’t that kind of story.

The girl who had never been on a train: Chrissie loves trains. She has train books, train pictures – and, of course, model trains. But Chrissie has never been on an actual train. In part, because Chrissie doesn't find getting around as easy as other people. Then, Chrissie finally gets on a train, with her Grandpa Henry, to go down to London for an important operation. Her parents and Henry hope the journey will take Chrissie's mind off things. And they're but in a way they couldn't possibly imagine. Because Chrissie's trip from Scotland to London turns out to be quite literally magical – and is going to change Chrissie's life forever.

The girl who had never been on holiday: Every year, Max, Lily and Jack are taken to Snoring-On-Sea for their holiday – quite possibly the most boring town in the world. There’s nothing to do and nothing to see – even the beach at Snoring-on-Sea is dull and grey. But this year, something DOES happen. The children meet someone on a tiny island out at sea – a mysterious child called Ariel. Ariel claims to have never left their tiny island, and to Ariel, everything about Max, Lily and Jack’s lives is amazing – fish and chips, fizzy drinks… even the view of the brick wall out of their bedroom window. And their new friend forces Max, Lily and Jack to see Snoring-On-Sea in a whole new light.