What you become in flight : a memoir / Ellen O'Connell Whittet.

A career-ending injury takes a ballerina from the lofty heights of dance, grounding her into a life where she is forced to confront issues of fetishization, ownership, and brutality to the female body. After a devastating misstep by her dance partner changes the course of her life, life as Ellen knows it comes to an abrupt halt. During her recovery, she recalls a girlhood spent in front of studio mirrors forcibly shaping her body, falling victim to eating disorders in order to retain it, and the slow break down of her body that made literally breaking it much too easy. What isn't easy is accepting a life beyond dance. To do that Ellen must come to terms with the forces that controlled her--the brutally competative world of ballet, the fetishization of the female body, and the sexual assault that led to a severe phobia. Testing how much weight her new identity can hold, embarks upon a life lived on the ground, a new career path, devotion to someone other than herself, love, and learning the delicate balance between the benefits and brutality of pushing yourself to the brink.